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Lori’s Story (Breast Cancer,Depression)

Lori-story-breast-cancerHello Again Fight Like A Girl,

If you look in the files back in June 2012 you will see my original story .

In 2012, at 46 years old, I was diagnosed with stage 3 IDC HER2+ in my right breast. I did my chemo/radiation and herceptin.

Long story short, I almost made it to my 5 years clear.

In October 2016, my right breast again became itchy/red/sore and very swollen and then dimply or fleur d’orange. I think is how they say it. Anyways, I was diagnosed again with breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer.

So this time, chemo before surgery was an option or another year of Herceptin. Following that would be radiation. Again which my doctors were unsure of the long term effects because it was under the 5 year mark from the first (28 treatments) in 2012 and now another 26 treatments in 2016 but the good out weighed the bad.

When it came time to talk to the surgeon, I had already decided to have a double mastectomy (I new the one breast had to go already) . I also decided not to have reconstruction surgery.

My surgeon didn’t want to do the double mastectomy but I told him if he wouldn’t,  I would find another who would so he agreed to do the surgery.

With my family, friends by my side I had the surgery and everything that went along with it ….spinal for pain meds(which I pulled out accidentally after surgery), drainage tubes(which the tube on the left came out after surgery I didn’t do that lol). Oh yes, and let’s not forget infections, swelling and dehydration.

The dehydration came from a RN not giving me my anti-nausea needle (after chemo) because I wasn’t vomiting. I was just nauseated so she decided I didn’t need it …I couldn’t eat or drink so…until my loving sister tore a strip off of them.I was put on IV transfusion for hydration. Gosh I love her, she’s a little  spit fire.

It was nice to get my dogs home from the kennel where a very good friend looked after them during my treatment and while I got back to normal.

Fast forward almost a year and thinking all is pretty normal.I had an emotional breakdown

I consider myself a strong person and this is very hard to put out there ….I struggle with the fact that I haven’t and I’m really not sure how to deal or cope with my past illnesses,my anger associated with it and my fears.

I am seeking counselling but it still feels like it will be a long road.

I am reminded daily by my scars and my constant nerve pain (right breast)and also by my invisible scars…that sometimes life is a real b*tch.

But this is aFight I will win too… It may just take a bit longer.

Lori
Ontario,Canada
Submitted 06/26/2018

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2 comments

  1. I have read and am rereading (thanks to chemo brain and memory issues) the book ” Understanding and Loving a Person with Post-Traumatic Disorders” by Stephen Arterburn and Becky Johnson. The first time through, all I saw was me. Now I am seeing the hints and helps to survive it. It is nice to see that there are others who have overcome most of the PTSD. It is a short easy 5o read book.

  2. Thanks I will look it up

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