Hey there. My name is Pam and I am 40, yeah, older than dirt as my little girl says. It seems I have had a lot on my plate lately and would love to say I am winning the battle. My head is still above water, but it’s getting harder to stay afloat.
It all started when I was about 18. I was then diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis and thyroid disease. I was having episodes where I could barely walk and the pain was getting very hard to bare. I managed to put myself through college and during my last week of student teaching my husband walked off and left me for another woman. So after my Mom shaking some sense into me and talking me out of giving up, I held on to the side of the building as I walked and would go to the bathroom every few minutes and wipe the tears and finished my student teaching.
I finally got my dream job of teaching those with special needs. I knew God’s plan in my life was finally taking shape. I met the true love of my life, had a beautiful baby girl at age 33, built my dream home, THEN boom! My world fell apart. It seemed that having a baby flared up my disease to the point that I couldn’t function. My parents had to move next door to help me with daily chores and my baby. My dreams had turned into a nightmare. The pain was so bad that all I did was cry.
So for the next 3 years I was pretty much a shut-in in my home. During this time I was at my lowest and finally just said God you have to do something. Somehow He did. I had seen probably over 200 drs at this point. They now called IT ankylosing spondylitis and told me that my spine and neck were fusing. My thyroid was out of control too no matter how my meds were changed and my long, thick hair was all falling out. Somehow I managed to go back to work and fake it. But after 3 years I had my job taken from me (LONG story). The stress of that sent my body into a spiral of pain that would not let up.
So since Dec of last year I have been home. Every day is a struggle. I am still losing my hair, my pain is out of control, drs are of no help. I began seeing a fundamental type practicioner, changed my diet, taking supplements, etc. but nothing is changing. I feel lost here all alone by myself day after day but I do have God and boy do I wear His ears out. I know there’s a plan and some how this will all have to come to an equilibrium.
I am a fighter – not a quitter. The mirrors make me cry but then I get angry and want me back even more. I know I am not alone and want to reach out to others. I feel God has big plans for me. I just have to get unstuck. Love and prayers to all.
This story is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.