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Heather’s Story (PCOS)

Heather's Story PCOSMy name is Heather. I am 27 years old and feeling incredibly depressed. I have finally been diagnosed with PCOS, as of last month, although I knew I suffered from this years ago. I guess I will start at the beginning of my story and try not to make this entry too long.

When I was 15, I started my period, I ended up in the ER due to extreme abdominal pain so severe that the doctor at the ER thought I may have appendicitis. After ultrasounds and tests, they told me that I was fine and what they believed was causing the issues was one of my ovaries being larger then the other and me going into my first menstrual cycle. Ever since that first period I have struggled with very irregular periods that were also very heavy and very painful!!!

When I was seventeen years old, I got pregnant from my boyfriend. We were very scared and ashamed, but we decided to keep the baby. At three months, I miscarried. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life, both physically and mentally. It took me years to get to a point where I didn’t cry for the loss of my baby.

As the years passed, I still continued to struggle with irregular periods. It was not until two years later that my other half and I decided to try again. We had tons of unprotected sex for two years, and there was never one pregnancy. I was so frustrated and hurt, and there was no explanation as to why I could not conceive. It was around this time that I started growing random hair patches on my chin. I was embarrassed and confused. I also began gaining a lot of weight in my midsection, which I believed was a result of my heavy drinking at the time, since I was so depressed that I was having problems getting pregnant.

My boyfriend of 6-1/2 years and I separated, and my depression hit an all-time low. I was a complete mess. No matter what I did, I could not find peace in my life. I found comfort in a very unhealthy relationship, and within a year, we started having unprotected sex. No protection, no pull out, no nothing. Not that we ever expressed a want for a baby, but I think we both would have welcomed it. After a faint positive pregnancy result, I took three more tests, all of which showed a positive result. I was convinced I was pregnant. I made an appointment with my OBGYN for 4 days later to confirm. The very next day, I started bleeding and feared the worst. By the time I made it to my appointment, the OBGYN informed me that I was not pregnant. He informed me of something called a “phantom pregnancy.” I was devastated. WHY does this keep happening to me?

Right around this time, the facial hair growth I was experiencing became more aggressive, so much to the point that I began researching it. This was the first time I learned about PCOS. I had all of the symptoms: the irregular periods, heavy bleeding, painful cramps, hair growth, etc. I told my OBGYN that I believed this was what the problem was. He ordered blood tests and a vaginal ultrasound. His diagnosis??? Nothing was wrong. He never once suggested losing weight or anything. I KNEW from research that I had PCOS, but at this point, I blindly believed PCOS was only a fertility issue.

I HAD NO IDEA that PCOS causes diabetes and heart disease if left untreated. All the research I had done led me to think that this syndrome was a fertility problem. With that being said, I didn’t seek treatment for it because I was not ready to have a child. I met my husband a little over two years ago, and we recently got married on February 19th. Right after he proposed, I knew I needed to seek help with my problem. The OBGYN I had been seeing for 10 years had never diagnosed me or treated me for my problems, so I decided to get a second opinion. Basically, I had self diagnosed myself with PCOS, but my OBGYN prior had dismissed it and told me that nothing was wrong. My new OBGYN confirmed what I had known all along: I have PCOS. I am 5’5 and weighed 190 pounds. He immediately started me on Phentermine to get me to lose weight, and once my blood test came back that my liver and kidneys were healthy enough, he started me on metformin. I am also on a very low carb diet (40-50 grams of carbs and 80-100 grams of protein). I have lost a sufficient amount of weight, which is a nice side effect, but I am still worrying about developing diabetes or heart disease.

The actual diagnosis has scared the crap out of me. I was put on this Earth to be a mother. That is all that I want. I know that with weight control and metformin, chlomid, IVF, IUI, ect. it is possible, but I cannot help but feel helpless. What if none of those work? What if I develop diabetes or heart disease? For God’s sake, I am ONLY 27 years old. I don’t know anything about health history on either of my parents’ sides, so who knows what genetics have in store for me? I am stressed to the max and scared. For now, I am just feeling defeated. I am following the diet and taking the meds, but I still feel petrified when I think about my future. I finally have a man in my life who loves and cares for me. I have a reason to LIVE! I WANT to live. I want more than anything to have a child with the man I love. I just want to experience a normal life, married with a child of my own. I hate the fact that I am 27 years YOUNG, and I have restrictions in my life. I HATE PCOS! I HATE not feeling like a woman because I have difficulty achieving what most woman do. I HATE not being able to enjoy the things in life that used to bring me happiness (potatoes, pasta, etc.). I am just really struggling with this. Any thoughts or advice are SO welcome and NEEDED!!! I know this was a very long story, but I just needed to get it off of my chest. Thank you in advance for all of your advice!

Submitted 03/08/2015

The informational content of this article is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.

This story is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.

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  1. Brigitte Estelle Gaudreault

    Beautiful Heather !!
    You are a woman , you are happy , you are married , you are educated in knowledge of your health and you know what you and your body need, keep a journaI , I enjoyed reading you and think that you should concentrate / appreciate your health , your mind , your ” you ” ! Once you have acheived this valuable advice , you can be pleasant to be with ! Why? Because you will not fall in the category of why me syndrome, instead we and you will feel your advancement in calmness and love for life! You adapt to this thinking and it will come naturally to understand the why !
    Take the time to a very important decision you need to acknowledge at this point in your life!
    Eat better ! (
    love more !
    meditate 2 to5 minutes in peace and positive mood !
    Keep a journal!

    Share your knowledge with friends family and your new family online , you might be surprised , they need you as well

    Now being french origin and irish/ scicilian descent , I will be very straightforward to you as a friend would, are you ready my friend
    ok so you don ‘t have kids ? I am sorry you cannot get pregnant I feel sad how strong you need to feel that closeness , but turn around you are not alone , look around you find olace in other things different adventures your family ‘s interest as well as your husband’s ( lucky you not alone ), and do not forget the beautiful Heather that needs to be acknowledged , find out something she needs to make her smile !

    I hope you contact me , I think you have great potential in finding happiness for you !
    With love from Québec, Canada
    Brigitte Estelle xxx

    I wrote about my sister in the Non Hodgkins Lymphoma disease, her name is Diane Gaudreault.
    You are welcome to write to her !
    please don’t stop writing , reach out to others in this club !

    Love ya!

  2. Brigitte Estelle Gaudreault

    Oops !
    Edit error
    * look around you will solace …
    Brigitte Estelle xxx

  3. Brigitte Estelle Gaudreault

    What words would you use to describe yourself? There are probably at least a few with which you identify very strongly, all the time. Then there are so many more that you are only occasionally. Sometimes, you may even realize that you are no longer that fundamental thing that you thought you were. And then everyone else sees you differently than how you see yourself. 

    We are all made of many selves. I used to think that I’m just one person, and that turned out to be quite an illusion (and self-torture). Part of growing up is letting go of the idea that you’re a single coherent being, and accept your contradictions, your many ‘you’s. But here’s the thing: I am the most pure ‘me’ I can be through love. A lot of white noise in my soul gets faded out: the feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, judgment, impatience–and in their place, a sense of joy, empathy, gratitude, a fullness. The more in love you are (with your lover, yourself, life in general) the more you become your purest, most essential self. 

    With love from Québec, Canada
    Brigitte Estelle xxx
    p.s ( from Peaceful Dumpling, this ssort paragraph)

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