My name is Angie, and I am 20. I feel like writing helps. It helps with the pain and the stress. I sometimes feel like no one knows what I go through. But then I stop and think, and I know millions of other women are suffering from the same disease. I just wish they could be sitting with me and giving me advice.
I just need advice. I need hope. I need to know it will get better. It will someday end, and I will feel like I did before all this. Now my everyday pain is “normal” for me. But it is not normal. No one should deal with the pain, fatigue, stress, anxiety, and depression. I have so many goals I want to complete, but I know it will take more time than it should because everything takes longer for me. I just have to save up the energy.
I finally am enrolled in school. I felt like I would never be able to go because I am constantly in pain and financially struggling. Even though they are just online classes with the University, it is a step closer. I just hate that I feel like I have to explain myself to people. They don’t understand why I am the way I am. I explain my life to doctors constantly, and I feel like they don’t get it. I know they want to help, but they can’t because there is nothing to do for people like me. I have had six surgeries and gone through medical menopause three times. I have been through so many doctors trying to find help and hope. I just get pain medicine pushed on me and anxiety medicine.
I also have heart problems. My heart doesn’t receive enough blood, so my heart rate is in the 29-30’s. I pass out when I am in massive amounts of pain and under stress. I have spent up to 30 days in the hospital for this. I eventually will have to get a pacemaker put in, but the doctors want to wait until I’m older. So therefore, it is just more medicine and constantly being dizzy. I just want relief and my strength back. I have stronger days than others, but lately, my days have been hard and a struggle. I am always the “sick one” to my friends. I can’t date because guys don’t understand or can’t handle it. I have had relationships for up to three years with guys who leave me.
I know I will beat this, and I will be a strong person. I AM a strong woman, and I need to remember that. I need to remember that I will beat this! I will have hope and a wonderful life. I want a baby so bad, and I will one day have one. Please just keep telling yourself you can, and you will. I would love to become closer to my fellow endometriosis fighters. Please let me know if you could use a new friend in your life and some positive words. Keep fighting!
Angie
Montana
Submitted 03/05/2015
The informational content of this article is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
This story is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
I know wat you are going thru I am going thru the same thing sweetie and I know its very frustrating at times but you have too be strong and not let it get you down. Keep fighting I know you can do it and I’ll be praying for you.