You’re in a boxing ring. You’re throwing punch after punch. You’re winning. You feel that rush that for that moment you’re on top. Just when you think you’ve got your opponent beat, it comes around with a left hook that catches you off guard and completely off balance. Your neck snaps around, your ears are ringing, and everything around you is blurry as the dizziness hits. In what feels like slow motion you fall backwards. You lay there reminding yourself to breathe half wondering if you’re still alive. In the distance you hear the ref counting “1…2…3…”. He sounds so far away and the lights above seem too bright. You roll to your side struggling to get up, “4…5…6…” You make it back to your feet just before he times you out. You’re struggling to breathe. You look across the ring at what you thought you had beat and suddenly it seems so much bigger. You wonder how you’ll throw the next punch, how you can keep standing, how you’re ever going to win.
Over the past few weeks this has been me. I’ve fought as hard as I possibly can and now for the first time in a while I feel like I’m just barely standing, with my ears ringing, my head dizzy, and wondering how I’ll take the next step forward. Two weeks ago I had my fourth surgery in three and a half years. The results were not good. I lost one of my tubes, and the endo has been so aggressive that it has went past just being on my organs or on my stomach cavity walls, or pelvic cavity walls. It is now deep into my tissue and on my nerves. Hence the horrible, out of control pain I was in the ER for on Monday.
So now I am faced with having to start Lupron in the next few weeks. It’s one treatment I’ve honestly tried to avoid for the past few years. But I no longer have a choice. Which is something that frustrates me the most. Being out of control of your body is one of the worst feelings there is, and not having that control for going on 6 years gets harder every time.
I know this is not the normal kind of article I write, and I apologize for this kind of being all about me. But I, deep from my heart, ask you to keep me, my husband, and my family in your prayers as every choice that is made not only affects me but them too.
If you have ever been on Lupron, how did you do? Did it help? How were the side affects?
Keep fighting my brave sisters, even when you feel like you can’t get up and the ref is getting closer and closer to ten, don’t time out. Keep going. We’re all around the ring cheering you on.
Hugs and pain free wishes!
Rachel
The informational content of this article is intended to convey general educational
information and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
This article is intended to convey general educational information and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
