I have never talked openly about my condition, until now.
Once upon a time there was this girl (me when I was 20 yrs old) who was just starting life. Life seemed like so much joy. Until one day, I couldn’t get out of bed. I tried and tried but the pain was excruciating. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I figured most women, if not most young adult women, experienced the same thing.
The summer of my 21st birthday was something I’ll never forget; that day marked my first ER visit and overnight stay. My doctors at the time performed so many different types of tests but they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. Go figure!! So thank God for ‘Google’, because I started my own research. I narrowed it down to endometriosis and anemia. Putting all the facts together and showing my doctors my research was somewhat of a relief. I figured now that they knew about my condition, they were going to cure me. Totally wrong!! I was under extensive therapy. I’ve had four laps and the occasional ‘scrapping’. I’m also dealing with reoccurring cancer cells in my uterus. I was told by my doctors the condition I have may have started back when I was 12 yrs old.
Living with endometriosis is a hard thing to accept. I sometimes doubt God. It seems hopeless at times. The pain is unbearable. On my good days, I’m the happiest girl in the world. 🙂 When the pain hits, now that’s another story. The toll it’s taking on my loved ones; I can’t begin to explain the frustration and moments of anger they experience. There were and still are times my mama would sit with me and cry right along side me. I would always ask her, ‘Why me? Why can’t I have kids? Does God hate me?’.
Living with this illness is something I wish never existed. Moments of unimaginable pain and mental distress. My family has been by my side, and for that very reason I find hope. My family is very understanding about my condition. After all these years I’m finally adjusting to having endometriosis. I’ve accepted the bad days right along with the good. I know God loves me as he loves everyone. Every ‘good’ day I have is so very special to me. I’m sincerely at my happiest. Yet when I’m experiencing ‘bad’ days, I’m the total opposite of anything happy.
I am thankful for the person this has made me to this very day. It has taught me one of life’s lessons; to never let life pass you by, and try to live each day as if it were your last.
Not a day goes by that I don’t pray and wish for a cure.
The informational content of this article is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
This article is intended to convey general educational information and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.