October 25, 2012, I went in for a mammogram to have a lump checked out in my right breast. I was totally shocked when they told me I needed to have biopsies done on each breast. The biopsies were an experience in themselves as I was pretty healthy up until all of this. The left breast came back with cancer and the right was calcifications that were harmless.
This was all quite shocking to me, it took my breath away and made me think of horrible things like, “Am I on my way out of this world?” Fear and anxiety became part of me, they had never been part of my life before. It took me awhile to look up from where I knelt on my knees. I looked up to where my son stood, waiting for me, hoping I wasn’t going to give up. His hope, my inner fortitude (I’m a veteran), and my past experiences of being in some pretty hairy situations, gave me the motivation to reach up and pull myself back onto my feet, and put both fists up. Yes, I was going to fight this and fight it all the way! Whether it took me out or not I was going to fight to live, to stay here, and continue living.
I entered what I call my own personal hell on earth; beginning with chemotherapy and then going right into radiation, and now at present I’m on the estrogen blocking pill. One hill followed by a valley, one after another, and still I remain convinced that I am going to fight this. Not just for myself, but for my son, and for the other women who have come before me, and for those who will come after me. This whole thing is pretty scary. You do feel alone from time to time, even with people standing all around you. It’s hard to explain other than saying you need people to latch onto you and hold on to you while you go through this.
Truthfully if we hold on to each other we can weather any storm. No one should be alone during something like this. No one. God has kept me all these years. My faith in God grows stronger, even while I go through this whole being a survivor thing. I pray that God will steer me in a direction that I need to go. Now that I’ve gone through these treatments I’ve been reminded that life is for living. It’s not for worrying about every little thing or for being selfish. It’s for loving each other and giving of ourselves and that we can’t get lost in the swift current of our daily lives. We have to remember what life is all about, It’s about loving one another.
The informational content of this article is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
This story is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.