I found out I had endometriosis shortly after my 24th birthday. I went to the emergency room, thinking maybe I had kidney stones or a bladder infection like I’d had before. After several very awkward tests in front of my boyfriend, they told me I had a cyst on my ovary.
After that night, it was a whirlwind of events. I went to the obgyn the same week and found out I actually had 3 cysts and that I needed surgery as soon as possible. This was going to be my first surgery ever. I have always been a person who seems brave during bad times, but I was a mess behind closed doors. I had my surgery and had a very difficult time coming out of it. Then I found out they also had to remove a tumor that had linked to my colon. My recovery wasn’t so smooth, with lots of pain and issues with stitches. During all of this, they also let me know the very slim chance of me having a natural birth.
But like every story, I have a positive note. My boyfriend of 5 years, who just went through all of this with me, proposed. So here I am, 2 years later, married. Naturally, the next step would be starting a family. Not so easy with endo. Now I get to hear everyone asking when we are going to have kids, when it is nearly impossible for me to get pregnant. I know I can’t be the only one with endo who thinks that all I want to do is yell at people who ask and punch people in the face who have kids and don’t take care of them.
But really, I can deal with the pain, the experimenting with different medicine to see if it will help, the cancelling plans because I don’t feel good, and people never understanding my condition. But I am having the hardest time shaking this anger about most likely not having a child of my own and being so dang jealous of and mad at others who can. Most days, it feels like the only person I can talk to who actually cares and understands is my husband, since he hears everything the doctors tell me. I have always had different medical issues, but endo has made me feel so much more different than everyone else.
Now for the good news. This has made me so much closer to my husband and opened my eyes to amazing support groups and events. Next year, I plan to attend an event in Louisville to support endo, and I plan on participating in a research group. Every day is different, but it has made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. I still have a long journey with this, but I refuse to give up.
Jessica
Indiana
Submitted 06/14/2015
The informational content of this article is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
This story is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
