Honoring Our Loved Ones

As we gather with our loved ones during the holiday season, it’s natural to feel the absence of those we’ve lost. While grief can be overwhelming, we can refocus that pain into honoring their memory. Whether through cherished traditions passed down through generations or new practices we create, these acts can provide comfort and offer a way to celebrate their legacy.

My grandma, known to many as Granny, passed away in 2018. While I was fortunate enough to be with her in her final days, not a day goes by that I don’t think about her and miss her deeply. She was an amazing cheerleader in my life and someone who made a huge impact on me. Finding ways to honor and pay tribute to her throughout the year has helped me celebrate the love and guidance she gave me, keeping her spirit present in my life.

Cook, Bake, or Eat Their Favorite Foods

Food is central to many holiday traditions, and recreating a dish your loved one enjoyed is a beautiful way to keep their memory alive. Whether it’s their signature holiday dessert, a family recipe, or simply their favorite meal, cooking, baking, or sharing something meaningful allows you to connect with them in a sensory way. It’s also a way to pass their culinary legacy to future generations.

I love to do this when the pain of missing her hits me hardest. We frequently talked about our favorite food or what food we got to enjoy on our weekly phone calls. She always had something to share any time her kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, friends, or neighbors visited. Not only did she have something to share, but she made sure to have things that we liked – mint chocolate chip ice cream, cheese, and meat from the local deli to make sandwiches, pickles, chips, cereal, and even veggie burgers when my siblings and I became vegetarian.

Every Christmas, I find some Giannios chocolates to enjoy because they were something my grandma loved having around for her visitors during the holidays.

Share Stories and Memories

Another way to honor lost loved ones is by sharing their stories and memories with others. During family gatherings, take a moment to reflect on the special moments spent together. Telling stories about their achievements, quirks, or how they touched your life helps keep their memory alive for future generations. Looking back at old photos can unlock even more memories or enhance the sharing of stories. It’s also comforting to hear others share their memories of the person you miss.

My mom and I enjoy going through family photos when we are looking for a specific photo to share with people or just want to reminisce. Whenever I look through pictures of Granny, I can’t help but smile. We always took a few playful and silly photos whenever taking pictures. Remembering her laugh encourages me to continue that sense of humor and share it with others in her honor.

Attend a Local Event

Communities host various events, such as candlelight vigils, remembrance ceremonies, and special church services, to honor our loved ones. These gatherings provide an opportunity to grieve and heal together.

Around Christmas in 2018, my mom and I attended our church’s Blue Christmas service that was offered to those who lost a loved one in the last year. The service included worship while a memorial slideshow played through. My grandma’s photo was displayed as the worship team sang “It Is Well With My Soul” – one of my favorite worship songs.

Incorporate Their Favorite Music

Music has a powerful ability to evoke emotions and memories. Create a playlist of your loved one’s favorite songs, or play their favorite holiday tunes. The sounds of familiar music can bring back vivid memories and evoke feelings of love and warmth, especially when shared with family members. Consider singing or listening to these songs together during your holiday gatherings or special moments.

Years ago, Granny asked me to help find a song she loved after hearing it on the radio. She remembered the lyrics were something like, ‘I don’t know much, but one thing I do know, I love you.’ It took months, but I finally found it. The next time I saw her, I played it, and her face lit up with joy as she sang along to the chorus. Now, that song, along with others we cherished together, is part of a special playlist.

One of our family’s go-to Christmas songs is “Mele Kalikimaka,” honoring our Hawaiian heritage. Granny would set out her animated singing and dancing dog, which played the song alongside her holiday decorations.

Write It Out

Writing about our feelings can help release pent-up emotions. Some people find it helpful to write letters to their lost loved ones, expressing love, sorrow, and their thoughts. Others choose to write about life since their loved one’s passing, sharing what has and hasn’t changed.

I often turn to poetry to express my feelings, a love I shared with my grandma. The first poem I wrote about her was on her birthday, just weeks after she passed. Writing about grief has helped me process her absence in a healthy way, and I hope my words can bring comfort to others who are grieving.

Donate or Volunteer

Finding ways to give back to the community in ways they valued is a meaningful way to honor their legacy and keep their spirit alive. Acts of service, no matter how big or small, can serve as a tribute to the values they held dear and the causes they supported. Whether it’s volunteering for an organization they cared about, continuing a tradition they started, or simply helping others in their memory, these gestures not only pay homage to their life but also bring a sense of purpose and connection to those they’ve left behind.

My mom often shares how much the Salvation Army and VFW meant to her dad. Every year, she buys a red poppy on Veterans Day in his memory, and we’ve honored him with luminarias at Relay for Life events.

Commemorate

These activities can help transform grief into a healing process by fostering a connection with the ones we’ve lost while still allowing us to create new memories and celebrations. Whether you choose one of these practices or create your own, honoring a loved one’s memory is a powerful way to keep their spirit with you—today and in every holiday season to come.

The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice.