Life is not predictable.
Some days I wish I knew exactly what to expect and where my life was headed, because then I would be prepared. I would brace myself for the impact or be ready with champagne for the celebrations. I was not prepared for living with chronic pain and illness. I was not prepared for the fight it takes to reveal this is part of my life. And, most certainly I was not prepared for my life to be critiqued by others. But now that I have survived the crisis years, the years of being angry and uncertain and ill, I choose to turn my life into one of belief and action and dedication to a purpose that, like it or not, chose me. I now live in faith. I live in faith that my life will unfold as it should and as it is meant to. I hold a deep belief that everything happens for a reason and my path, although difficult at times, has been and is exactly the road I’m meant to follow.
I do envy people who say their lives are in balance. What does that mean anyway? Is it physical equilibrium or emotional steadiness? If it’s both of these things – then wow – they got the good genes and hit the life jackpot! I don’t wish them to have my experience, but I would like others to show empathy and not judgment. In dealing with disease there is an inherent imbalance. Watch out for false prophets promising the regaining of health and wellbeing – they lead to false profits for others. Look for genuine people trying to help for the sole reason that it’s the right thing to do.
There are people who want to teach us how to lead a balanced life. Hmm – how can anyone portend to possess this knowledge? The reason I’m skeptical is that the nature of the universe is chaos. Without chaos we could predict a snow storm, prevent rock slides, or know from birth that we would be the ones to suffer chronic disease. In my case it is ankylosing spondylitis. Balance is for tight rope walkers, gymnasts, and yogis. And chaos is for the rest of us mortals. With all of that in mind, I do believe we need to find the proper balancing “act”. It is something to strive for everyday. A balancing act is an attempt to cope with conflicting factors and situations at the same time. A.k.a. – life.
In our daily balancing act, what we can predict is how we react to the situations that arise in our lives. Someone who says they can teach me balanced re-action would be someone I might listen to. I am not big on the “this is the way everyone should live” approach to anything, – be it love, politics, or health. We must all find our own way. Preaching lifestyle correctness is akin to telling Monet that he needs to paint like Picasso in order to achieve greatness.
In my journey I’m searching for the way that works for me and when I find it I promise I’ll share it, I am beginning to find my way, but I will never tell you it’s the only way. Life is not predictable – find the fulcrum for your life, but give yourself a break while you look for it. Give yourself permission to falter. Do the best you can for YOU! And, once you find your balancing point –you are no longer an actor in your own production. Your balance is the only kind that matters.
This article is intended to convey general educational information and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.