I received my official multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis April 2012. The diagnosis provided answers to a multitude of unexplained symptoms that haunted my past, so for that I am glad.
However, I currently find myself VERY ANGRY at the disease. I am fighting the fatigue, depression and medication side effects. I fear and sense of loss and everything… everything is a fight! I want to be strong! I want to scream! I want to be healthy! I know that I will never have my old life back… my old life when I was blissfully oblivious to the reality of my future.
I am not ready to be happy with today or with whatever tomorrow brings. I am not ready to put on a happy face and tell everyone I am okay… but I do it anyways. It’s like the first time on a huge roller coaster ride and the moment of panic as it slowly reaches the top of the first drop and you find yourself feeling very claustrophobic and needing to run, but you can’t. You’re stuck and along for the ride whether you like it or not. I am not ready, and I am not okay.
Hope can be a very illusive emotion. I am in a dark place right now. I feel like I am living a lie. I know things will get better. I know God has a plan for me. I know I need to let go of the fear and the anger, but right now I use it to get me through the day. When I see “Cure MS” images, I think to myself, there is no cure for me, and I allow my facade to fall, and the darkness engulfs me for a brief moment in time. This is my truth right now. This is what I hide. This is my secret, and therefore, this is my fight. I fight to find faith, and hope, and strength, and courage, and inspiration, and everything I know I should feel, but don’t.
I would like to share my fight because the reality is that this is a struggle a lot of people feel. I want them to know that they are not alone… that I am not alone… and that it is okay to be angry. It is important to acknowledge this emotion, and then fight to find a way out of the darkness.
Becky D
Wyoming
Submitted 9-13-2012
The informational content of this article is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice.
3 Responses
I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 1 month after I turned 47. My grandma is 95 and has had it since she was in her 20s. I have been on Copaxone, the first year was daily and later was on 40 mg 3 times a week which was supposed to help me. It made a tremendous difference for me at first. Although the fatigue is what really gets to me. When I do too much I do start to feel weak, but I had no other choice because my neurologist said this is the only medication for MS. I quit my job because I was a liability, There has been little if any progress in finding a reliable treatment. Around 7 months ago I began to do a lot of research and was introduced to the Health Herbs Clinic and their effective Multiple Sclerosis treatment. When I started the MS treatment I felt like a miracle had happened. Feel as good as I can feel. Started driving including on a freeway. The herbal treatment is a sensation.. “Just google openpaymentsdata and see how much your doctor is getting paid ! AWESOME!!! They make money while we suffer.” I Just wanted to share for people suffering from this disease to visit healthherbsclinic. com it’s a 10 out of 10 from me! I Adhere anyone reading this to try natural approach.
I was living with MS for years before being officially diagnosed in 2021. I got annual MRIs, and I did not take any meds due to side effects. I had one flare up in 2021. My legs decided to a break and I was numb from the waist down. I decided to try MS-4 from Uine Health Centre. The numbness and Muscle spasms went away after a couple of weeks, but it took almost 3 months to walk properly without a cane. In June, it will be four years without incident, and I am extremely happy that I made the decision to not take any meds and went for the MS-4 formula even though my neurologist got upset and one told me to quit my job because I will be disabled. Well, I am not disabled, I still refuse to take those meds, and I am doing just fine. Believe in yourself and go with your instincts. Doctors don’t know it all. I’m surprised a lot of people with MS haven’t heard of the MS-4 protocol, I got the treatment from uinehealth centre . c om I am absolutely confident that this protocol offers a viable solution. I hope you find it helpful.
I was living with MS for years before being officially diagnosed in 2021. I got annual MRIs, and I did not take any meds due to side effects. I had one flare up in 2021. My legs decided to a break and I was numb from the waist down. I decided to try MS-4 from Uine Health Centre. The numbness and Muscle spasms went away after a couple of weeks, but it took almost 3 months to walk properly without a cane. In June, it will be four years without incident, and I am extremely happy that I made the decision to not take any meds and went for the MS-4 formula even though my neurologist got upset and one told me to quit my job because I will be disabled. Well, I am not disabled, I still refuse to take those meds, and I am doing just fine. Believe in yourself and go with your instincts. Doctors don’t know it all. I’m surprised a lot of people with MS haven’t heard of the MS-4 protocol, I got the treatment from uinehealthcentre. com I am absolutely confident that this protocol offers a viable solution. I hope you find it helpful.