“No one fights alone,” and “we are here for you” are mottos I see everywhere. Well, I have been alone since the beginning—fighting for the biopsy, the aftercare, and pain control. Every step of the way had roadblocks and judgment. I am exhausted from fighting the people who took an oath to support me.
When I love, I love with everything I am; when I work, I give 100% of my attention; and when it comes to my cancer, I am 100% committed. However, it takes time to focus, mentally prepare, and get support from the right people. When you are pushed to the wall, not having the right people with you can cost you good first impressions and maintaining a positive attitude. In this scenario, though, it cost me the respect of a new oncologist I met at the cancer unit where I eventually received my chemotherapy.
My father, Bob, was diagnosed with lymphoma on July 9, 1989, and died on July 29, 1989. My mother, Leana, was diagnosed in February 2004 with signet ring breast cancer—a genetic cancer—and died on July 9, 2004. Both of my parents were sick for at least a year prior to a proper diagnosis, and trust me, it was not without effort on their parts. As you can see, neither lived long after diagnosis. I am obviously affected by this, and therefore, when I am being treated, I always explain my family medical history because I feel it’s extremely important.
I was diagnosed on July 29, 2012, by Dr. Rudston-Brown. He did my biopsy and diagnosed me with stage 4 follicular lymphoma, which is cancer of my immune system and bone marrow. I had been sick for a couple of months and went to the emergency room, where they performed a CT scan and found enlarged lymph nodes. I was then referred to a surgeon who said my nodes were not large enough to warrant a biopsy. I was like, are you kidding me? Did you not read my history? Still, the answer was no. I refused to do what my parents did and just accept the doctor’s suggestion. I went back to my family doctor and asked to be referred to my parents’ surgeon in Nanaimo, Dr. Rudston-Brown, who has been nothing but stellar in his care. Within two weeks, I was under the knife, and I then went for a bone marrow tap, and let me tell you, that hurt. That is when I was told I was terminal. So, when I say I give 100% of my attention to something, this is why. I am not here to write or analyze the lack of attention from this surgeon who denied me a biopsy, but I will say to never, ever give up.
I was referred to an oncologist at the Vancouver Cancer Agency, Dr. Kerry Savage. I have to say, I hit the oncologist lottery getting Dr. Savage. She is one of the best in her field, and such a kind and compassionate doctor. She explained everything to me, and when I would get upset, she would just let me get it out. I apologized constantly for my emotional levels. I started chemotherapy at the Vancouver Cancer Agency in September 2012, and I have to say that it was textbook-level care—with compassion, kindness, and most of all, thorough explanations of what was happening. There were no egos, no bullying, and no wondering why this was happening to me. It was a step-by-step support system and a well-oiled department.
Starting in July 2017, I was diagnosed with a double pulmonary embolism, which was eventually treated with medication. Then came some of the most intense pain of my life, with no end in sight. Dr. Savage referred me to the Nanaimo Cancer Unit to receive my chemotherapy. In November 2018, I went to a cancer unit to meet my new oncologist. Things were running late, and when you are as ill as I am, if there isn’t somewhere to lie down, it is pure torture. The doctor walked in without introducing herself, and within two minutes, she told me that I couldn’t start my chemotherapy and continued talking. She lost me at “no chemotherapy,” and I had to say, “Please give me 10 seconds to keep my emotions in check because you just told me, a complete stranger, that I can’t have chemo that will help with my pain.” Well, she was so offended that she took it as a personal attack, when I am the one dying. The moral of the story is to never, ever stop advocating for yourself!
I then contacted Dr. Randy Marback, an oncologist at the Nanaimo Cancer Unit, and he took over my care for chemotherapy. I was approved within a few weeks, and I received six months of continuous chemotherapy, followed by a two-year protocol to receive chemotherapy every three months for maintenance care. I am still in my chemotherapy protocol and do have consequences from receiving so much chemotherapy, but I am alive and continue to fight to stay that way. I have maybe four hours of energy a day, but I can still take care of myself. I am so grateful to Dr. Kerry Savage, Dr. Randy Marback, and the Nanaimo Cancer Unit team for all their care, compassion, and understanding. Sometimes you must advocate for yourself, trust your intuition, and never, ever give up. I pray every day that I can have another day to see my sons grow and hopefully have children of their own. God bless you all. Never, ever give up!
Sharry
Canada
Submitted 09/06/2024
This story is intended to convey a personal experience and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional medical advice.
