Sometimes it’s so hard for me to even get out of bed due to the pain of endometriosis. It is, by far, the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. Sometimes I feel as though I just want to rip out my uterus just to stop the pain. It truly affects every part of your life. It basically controls you in a way. Many people say that they have control over their condition and that their condition doesn’t have control over them, but the way I see it, if you have to cancel appointments and stay in bed or take medication just to get through the day, it truly has control over you.
Sometimes my pain is so bad it hurts to breathe. I sometimes find myself gasping for air and crying uncontrollably to the point I have anxiety attacks back to back. There are days I can get up and get dressed and walk out the door perfectly fine but then one wrong move from me getting into my car, and my day takes a sudden shift. There have been many days I prayed for death, just for the pain to stop. I cried and cried and pleaded with God to take the pain away. I couldn’t take it another day, living like this, not knowing how or when it would strike up. I felt like a helpless child balled up on the bathroom floor doing all I could to fight through the pain.
My mom and my brother and sister were my only source of some type of sanity. They sat with me throughout the night and helped me every way they could, never leaving my side for more than a few minutes. I felt really bad many days that they had to take care of me because of my pain. Sometimes it would get so bad and unbearable, I couldn’t control my body. There have been many days that I urinated on myself from the pain and many vomiting sessions. Many nights and mornings I army-crawled to the bathroom because I couldn’t walk at all. It becomes crippling on some days, but with much prayer and inner strength, I push through it and do my best to put the best on the outside even though I want to give up on the inside.
I’ve missed out on so much due to my condition, and even my job has become hard for me, because my condition has put a strain on not only my body but my emotional state. But everyday I wake up and I pray for strength just to make it through the day, and whether in pain or just emotionally drained, my God gets my praise in all things, because I know that he will put no more on me than I can bear, because the Joy of the Lord is my STRENGTH!!!!!!
The informational content of this article is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
This story is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.