Hello to everyone reading this, my name is Jessica. I will be 27 yrs. of age this August. My story began 7 years ago when I decided that I wanted to have a family. I stopped my birth control pills and began planning for my new life as a mom.
After 30 days off birth control, I didn’t have a period and even after 6 months–nothing. I became nervous about what was going on with my body, so I went to see my OB-GYN at the time. All they did was give me birth control! I was frustrated with my situation because all I wanted was to start my new life. After failed attempts with the new birth control to get a period, I decided on a new doctor. They ran test after test and finally I got a call to come in to talk. There I am in tears fearing the worst. I go to sit with the doctor, and I get handed a two-page nondescriptive article about PCOS. No words were exchanged, it was a simple pat on the shoulder and the doctor walked away. Scared and in tears, I went home and did my research on what I was about to encounter with PCOS.
I struggled for 3 years to find answers and information. I started to get all the symptoms, hair growth (face included), weight gain (almost 100 lbs.), and cystic acne. It was an emotional roller coaster and it was the worst!! After almost a year of coping with it all on my own, I sought out more medical help. I was given more birth control pills and weight loss medication. I felt like this would be my life, and in the back of my head I was asking, “Why me?”
I lost all the weight and then some; I felt great! I decided it was time to try and have a family. I found a great OB-GYN who knew about PCOS and wanted to actually help get me through it. Little did I know my whole plan became very different. It was medications, timing, ovulation tests, and checking my vaginal temperature. We finally got a positive egg growth; fully mature! We did everything right! Four weeks later I had a positive pregnancy test.
I had made an appointment with my doctor for 2 weeks out for a follow-up. Those 2 weeks were the scariest time ever. My pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. We tried again after a few weeks and again the result was a miscarriage. I was broken and beaten. PCOS had won!
I let myself go, gained weight and stopped birth control (which meant all the hair came in full force). I let PCOS consume me into darkness; it took my life over, and I failed to find the light.
That was 4 years into my journey. It was now year 5; I had ruined my life, my husband left, and my family reminded me how I did not yet have a family of my own. I felt my life was at its end. After my marriage had failed, I turned to self-pity and self-blame.
On my own, I tried to regain my life again and went back to square one with PCOS. This time I knew it would not define me: I will define it! I did my research on symptoms and kept track of mine by writing them down. I found a great OB-GYN (who I still see 2 years later). I now have a great community of women from all over with PCOS. Looking back 7 years ago I see who I was, I let PCOS define me and consume my life. I look at myself now and remind myself PCOS doesn’t define me. I define PCOS!
Ladies, no matter what you face, with whatever battle, never let it define you. Fight like a girl!
This story is intended to convey a personal experience and, because every person’s experience is unique, should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.