I have many visible scars from various diagnostic procedures over the last 18 months. I have a scar on my ribcage from my chest drain, a scar just under my arm pit, and a scar just underneath my right breast, from my Hodgkin’s biopsy. I also have scars on my arms from cannulas, and from a bite from my son, that wouldn’t have usually scarred, but because I was going through chemo, pigmentation was altered. Then I have a scar on my throat, from the thyroid surgeries. Those are permanent reminders of what I have been through. They won’t go away. People can see them (OK, maybe not the rib and breast one so much) and will wonder what they are. The ones that are bold enough might ask. The ones that aren’t might talk about me to others later, asking them if they know what it is. Those scars don’t bother me. It’s funny, because maybe they should. But I don’t find myself hiding my thyroid scar, by making sure I wear a polo neck, or a scarf or a necklace, because I don’t … [Read more...]
Bye Bye Thyroid!
One week ago, I had the second half of my thyroid removed. This leaves me on medication for the rest of my life. I am also taking calcium tablets as my levels dropped in hospital, so I'm having them rechecked next week. I had a meltdown in hospital on Sunday. I haven’t had a huge amount over the last year, but I have had a couple. I’m just done. I’ve got no fight left anymore. I can’t do it. I’m done. I can’t bear the thought of going through the radio-iodine treatment and being in hospital in isolation, and then being away from my little boy for some weeks after. So I’m talking to my consultant when I see him and telling him I’m not having it done yet. I spoke to my key-worker about this on Monday and he said that I won’t be the first person who has chosen to do that. I just want some life for a bit. I want to have another baby, I don’t want to be away from my son any more. I’ve been in hospital enough over the last year and it’s unsettling for … [Read more...]
