At the end of the year we all look back and reflect upon the year we are leaving behind. The good times we have had, the changes we have went through, and then the bad times and the things we will gladly leave behind. I can personally look back and say from the very start of this year it has been the year with the most change I’ve ever gone through. At the start of the year I became engaged. Three months later I got married and moved away from everything I’d ever known. Four months later I had my fourth surgery for Endometriosis and two months after that I started Lupron shots. Looking back I can say I have had some amazing, unforgettable days and I can look back and say I have had some really hard times too.
When we are having a day where we feel amazing, and we’re happy and everything is wonderful we don’t want the day to end. When it’s been a bad day and things feel like we’re falling apart, we can’t wait for the day to end and to start over. Either way the day always ends and we move on. Sometimes that’s not easy. Sometimes we want to dwell on the days we hold closest to our hearts. We want to relive those moments over and over, but it can come to a point where we find ourselves wishing for our future to look like our past.
On the other side we have days we want to forget about. Be it a day full of pain, a day were nothing seems to go right or just a bad day in general we want to get away from it as fast as possible. We either look back at a day we felt good, or we look to days ahead and forget the moment we’re living in. No one wants to take in the moment you’re in pain or you feel like your world is falling apart. We don’t like to feel pain, be it physical, or emotional. I know I sure don’t! But if there has been anything I’ve learned this year it’s that when you feel like you can’t go on one more step that you just stand. Sometimes that’s just as hard as moving forward. It’s as hard as putting one foot in front of the other because standing you want to just lay down and cry. Sometimes we don’t feel like if we’re moving then we’re being weak. But the big oak trees I grew up around never moved. When they were small they didn’t keep pressing against the driving wind and rain. Their roots dug down deeper and they became stronger and bigger. They never move. It’s true that we do have to move. We have to keep going forward or we’ll get locked in our own little world and become nothing but when you’ve gone as far as you can, then you stand.
Standing isn’t as easy as it looks. You’ll still feel pressure all around. You’ll still feel pain and hurt. But you’re not going backwards. You’re still there. You made it that far so who’s to tell you that you can’t make it just a little farther? When I look back at all I’ve gone through and the things I have faced, not just in my life as a whole, but in just this past year, I know I have become stronger. I don’t feel like it most of the time but I know I have. I know I have because I am standing. And so are you.
Last year around this time I wrote about a hope for a cure for Endometriosis in 2012. Has that happened yet? No but it won’t stop me from carrying that hope into 2013. I have to say that this year I have seen a lot of awareness for this horrible disease raised. THAT my friends is a step forward.
So in this coming year I encourage you to keep moving, keep pressing forward but when you can’t, stand.
Hugs and pain free wishes!
Rachel
The informational content of this article is intended to convey general educational
information and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
This article is intended to convey general educational information and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.
Wow Rachel, you just put into exact words how my last 2 and a half years.Standing still is the hardest thing, but necessary sometimes to get through just each day. I will be sharing your words and i hope that those closet to me take the time to read it to understand. Thank you for sharing your story. You gave me goosebumps then the biggest sigh.