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Finish Line

by 2 Comments
Mar
18
2013
Endometriosis Article

I think when you face a chronic disease you always find yourself thinking about "The Finish Line". When the fighting is over, when your done, and when everything is just finished. I feel like I am facing that now. As many of you know I have been trying Lupron shots. In the past three months they have caused me a lot of problems (putting it lightly). As I told my doctor Friday, I feel like I've been through hell and back. I have been struggling with major depression, horrible panic attacks, anger issues and just a deep numb emotional feeling. I have never been so bad emotionally so long. It has been a very rough time for not only me but my family too as they see me going through this and can do nothing to help. I have just sat and cried thinking what is wrong with me? What is happening to me? It is a time that I am gladly leaving behind. My Lupron shots have been stopped and now I am facing with some very big decisions. My doctor told me there was nothing else that can be done. I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Endometriosis Tagged With: , ,

Standing Stronger

by 1 Comment
Dec
28
2012
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At the end of the year we all look back and reflect upon the year we are leaving behind. The good times we have had, the changes we have went through, and then the bad times and the things we will gladly leave behind. I can personally look back and say from the very start of this year it has been the year with the most change I've ever gone through. At the start of the year I became engaged. Three months later I got married and moved away from everything I'd ever known. Four months later I had my fourth surgery for Endometriosis and two months after that I started Lupron shots. Looking back I can say I have had some amazing, unforgettable days and I can look back and say I have had some really hard times too. When we are having a day where we feel amazing, and we're happy and everything is wonderful we don't want the day to end. When it's been a bad day and things feel like we're falling apart, we can't wait for the day to end and to start over. Either way the day always ends … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Endometriosis Tagged With: , , ,

Out of Control

by 1 Comment
Oct
02
2012
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One of the many battles I fight inside myself is control/perfection. I never really thought of myself as a perfectionists or control freak until my husband pointed out how upset I get when my hair doesn't do what I want or the house isn't just so or I burn something while cooking dinner. The more I thought about it and the deeper I dug I realized that the reason I get so upset over the little things is because it's things I can control. It's things I can change and do. When I got down to the bottom of it and was honest with myself I wasn't too happy with the truth. My control freak impulses come from the struggle of trying to make up for the fact I have a disease. That deep down feeling we try so hard to bury. Where we think because we struggle and have an incredibly hard battle with our bodies that somehow we're lacking. In a way we feel like we have to strive to do everything perfect and have everything just so to make up for the days we don't. When I first started dating my … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Endometriosis Tagged With: , ,

Updated – Sorry It’s Been So Long!

by 1 Comment
Sep
18
2012

Hey guys, I know I haven't posted in a while and I am so sorry! I have been having some health problems lately. One being my memory loss. I can't even remember whether or not I have taken my pills and that has never been a problem for me! It's scary and so frustrating. On Friday we flew up to California to see my doctor and hoped for some answers. The doctor appointment didn't give me the answers I was hoping for, but it was a good start. The doctor said that she had never seen memory loss before in a patient taking the same medication I am, but that doesn't mean it isn't possible. So we are going to do a small experiment and cut my dosage in half. We hope that that will be enough to keep the irregular heart beats at bay but also hopefully not give me as many memory problems. If my heart beats start to go crazy again we may up it a bit, but not to the full dose I am on now. They did say that memory loss could be because of Thyroid problems, but since I already get that checked … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Heart Disease Tagged With: , , ,

One More Round

by 7 Comments
Aug
31
2012
Coping with Chronic Illness

You're in a boxing ring. You're throwing punch after punch. You're winning. You feel that rush that for that moment you're on top. Just when you think you've got your opponent beat, it comes around with a left hook that catches you off guard and completely off balance. Your neck snaps around, your ears are ringing, and everything around you is blurry as the dizziness hits. In what feels like slow motion you fall backwards. You lay there reminding yourself to breathe half wondering if you're still alive. In the distance you hear the ref counting "1...2...3...". He sounds so far away and the lights above seem too bright. You roll to your side struggling to get up, "4...5...6..." You make it back to your feet just before he times you out. You're struggling to breathe. You look across the ring at what you thought you had beat and suddenly it seems so much bigger. You wonder how you'll throw the next punch, how you can keep standing, how you're ever going to win. Over the past few weeks … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Endometriosis Tagged With: , ,

Lanah’s Fight Like a Girl Story (Endometriosis)

by 2 Comments
Jul
27
2012
Lanah's Story (Endometriosis) LR

After everything I’ve been through, I figured that I would share my story with you. My name is Lanah and I have been battling Endometriosis for 14 years and counting. My problems started when I was 11 years old when I went through my first period. My periods would get so bad that I would miss one week of school each month…the week of my period. I would lay on the couch with a hot water bottle and writhe in pain. This lasted for quite some time which also caused problems with school, due to all of my days missed. Also, my immune system has always been very weak, so not only did I have to worry about my periods but I also got ill quite often. I also suffer from Raynaud’s syndrome (which I recently found out can be endo related) and Asthma. I have never experienced a day without pain. As the years went on towards the age of 14, I started experiencing severe gastric problems. I would have what I referred to as “attacks”. My stomach would suddenly start hurting extremely bad. I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Endometriosis Tagged With: , ,

Coping

by 16 Comments
Jul
03
2012
Endometriosis Article

Have you ever on a bad day just gone into auto pilot? You start having this almost out of body experience where you feel like you’re watching everyone from the other side of a window.  You numb yourself; you can’t feel anymore, you can’t think, you are totally emotionless. This is what is called coping. So what is the difference in when you’re coping and when you’re being strong? I’ve been thinking about this because of a couple of days I’ve had this past month. I’ve had some days where I was in so much pain I just went into auto pilot. I went into that out of body experience because I couldn’t handle the pain I was in. I think I’ve done that so much in the past 5 or so years that it’s almost an automatic reaction that I can’t control anymore. I learned how to do this before I was diagnosed. When I didn’t have a constant supply of pain pills, and an explanation for the pain I was in. When I think of coping this is what I think of. I think of the days … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Endometriosis Tagged With: ,

Kristin’s Fight Like a Girl Story (Breast Cancer)

by 13 Comments
Jun
04
2012
Kristin's Story (Breast Cancer)

I am 32 years old and was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in August 2011. I found my own cancer through a routine monthly self exam. At my age, no one expected it to be cancer. I do have some family history with emphasis being on my Aunt Lisa who died in 1999 at the age of 36 of breast cancer. She was 31 when she was diagnosed. My chemo doctor has ordered the genetic testing to see if the cancer gene is being passed down. It was a devastating diagnosis as all I could think about was my 2 little boys and my husband and how this all would effect them. I was so angry that this was happening and thoughts of my boys having to grow up without their Mom were unbearable. Luckily, I found mine very early so it hadn’t had a chance to spread anywhere. My lymph nodes were clean and my P.E.T scan came back clear. After 3 surgeries, they were able to get my margins clear and still were able to save my breast. I started chemo on Oct. 11th and I have 3 more to go with my next one … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Breast Cancer Tagged With: ,

After Happily Ever After

by 7 Comments
Jun
03
2012
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Do you ever wonder what happens after happily ever after? Maybe because I’m a writer I think beyond the end of the perfect story. Like what happened to Cinderella after she married Prince Charming? Where did the evil stepmother and step sisters go? Did they all make up? The questions and possibilities are endless. The difference in the fairy tales and real life is that our “evil stepmother and step sisters” don’t go away. (No offence to anyone that is a stepmother or sister, I use those terms figuratively here J ) As I mentioned before I just got married. (Yay!) I married the most amazing guy there is, and had the most perfect fairy tale wedding day imaginable. It was in every single sense of the word perfect. But since this is real life we have to face what happens after our happily ever after, what happens after our most perfect day and what the rest of ever after holds. For us that fight a battle with chronic illness it means that the “evil stepmother” of … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Endometriosis Tagged With: , , ,

No, I’m Not Pregnant!

by 8 Comments
May
06
2012
Controlling Ascites

Yes, I know that "When are you due?" can be extremely painful for anyone who is not pregnant... But to a 30 year old woman who can't have any more children, and has Ascites from a failing liver, it is heartbreaking. Of all of the symptoms I had, from constant bleeds, horrible itching, memory loss, daily vomiting... All of them, the ascites was the one that played with my emotions the most. One time, I sat in front of my mirror for almost an hour staring at my pregnant looking belly imagining "if only..." But really it was something more serious, a symptom of cirrhosis... fluid collecting outside of my organs (in the Peritoneal cavity). At first you really don't notice, but after a little while the pressure builds, the fluid begins to press on your organs, it becomes hard to breathe (and walk) and you can just feel all that fluid sloshing around in there. Ascites is a symptom of an underlying problem, so the only way to truly get rid of it is to fix the cause. In a majority of the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Liver Disease Tagged With: , ,