Do you ever wonder what happens after happily ever after? Maybe because I’m a writer I think beyond the end of the perfect story. Like what happened to Cinderella after she married Prince Charming? Where did the evil stepmother and step sisters go? Did they all make up? The questions and possibilities are endless. The difference in the fairy tales and real life is that our “evil stepmother and step sisters” don’t go away. (No offence to anyone that is a stepmother or sister, I use those terms figuratively here J )
As I mentioned before I just got married. (Yay!) I married the most amazing guy there is, and had the most perfect fairy tale wedding day imaginable. It was in every single sense of the word perfect.
But since this is real life we have to face what happens after our happily ever after, what happens after our most perfect day and what the rest of ever after holds.
For us that fight a battle with chronic illness it means that the “evil stepmother” of Endometriosis doesn’t go away just because you had the most perfect day.
Whether you have just been diagnosed with Endometriosis or you’ve been battling it for years I’ve found one of the harder aspects of the battle is the loneliness you feel. Endometriosis is something that you can’t really explain to someone and make them understand how you’re feeling. I think that’s been one of the hardest things is when my husband asks “what’s wrong?” sometimes all I can say is “I don’t feel good.” You have to keep in mind that we dated long distance, 4 hours away and so it’s been a huge change actually living with each other every day. He has seen me when I’ve had really bad days where I’m hurting or really sick but on the days where I’m having a “I don’t feel good.” day, well that’s a little harder to explain. When we got married I moved to where he lives so now I am four hours away from the one person that understood every little thing about my health. My mom. When I said “I don’t feel good.” she knew what I meant. She understood and knew what to expect from me that day. For my husband it’s a little different. He’s extremely understanding and does all he can to do for me and I completely adore him for that, but he’s still learning things about me, and me about him. So I think a lot of the time I feel like I have to be stronger, I have to try to push harder on the days I don’t feel good now.
I don’t blame the people in my life because they don’t understand why I say I don’t feel good or when I say I’m hurting. I know they can’t imagine it and I would never want them to but at the same time it can be one of the most frustrating things because you feel like no one understands. I’ve cried many many tears over how alone I felt. I’ve found the best thing you can do is to try your best to explain how you are feeling. You’re not really ever going to be able to truly explain exactly how your feeling and someone understand unless they have been there too. I have to remind myself of that on my “I don’t feel good” days because one side of me wants to just crawl up in bed and have everyone leave me alone, one part of me wants to be held, and then there is that part of me that wants to lash out at the people around me because they don’t understand. If you would truly be honest with yourself I think we can all say we’ve felt like lashing out at people and saying something we shouldn’t because their insensitive to the way we feel. But I have to remember not to be like that. If I lashed out when I didn’t feel good and someone didn’t get that then I would be no better because I wouldn’t be handling it in a way that would make them understand. I have to pray. I have to pray that God will give me the patience to deal with people that just honestly don’t understand, the patience to deal with the people that just don’t care, and to give me the words to speak to explain to someone what my fight is in hopes that by letting go of my insecurity about what people may think when they find out I have a disease that one more person could understand some of what we go through and make the push for a cure stronger. Even by just one more person. Fighting a battle is hard. A war has never been won because one person went on the battlefield alone. You fight a war with an army. That’s what FLAGC is. We are an army of sisters that stand beside each other when no one else understands what we’re going through. I want you to know that even on your “I don’t feel good.” days that there is someone who understands what you mean. That understands when you say you can’t explain why you don’t feel good or that your hurting. You have an army of women that care about you and how you feel. I feel for each and every one of you and pray for you all. So just remember that even when you feel like no one understands, your never ever alone.
Much love and pain free wishes!
The informational content of this article is intended to convey general educational
information and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional healthcare advice.